Friday, July 22, 2011

Homosexuality, straight guys, and fat chicks.

Now, I'm not one to care if someone's gay or not. (2 gay roommates) But I do have a few things I'd like to argue about. Now, how can someone have a physical attraction to a male. I can sit here and off the top of my head come up with a laundry list of disgust about a "hot" male body. You can't say shit about a woman. they're soft, and pretty, and they smell nice etc. Where men are hairy and sweaty and tend to smell not so nice. But whatever. it's 2011. Shit's a bit different. there is no gay, straight, bi. It's all individual people and your attractions towards them. Please though. If you are gay. just keep it outta my face. I don't care if you suck on a different ball-sack every night. If you're gonna wear rainbow everything and jump around like a wood nymph frolicking in the forest with a singing group of small, woodland animals, I'm gonna hit you in the teeth. The only people making a big deal about homosexuality are these flamer fucks. you're the ones who are just doing it for attention. No? then why draw all the unnecessary attention towards you? leave it be. go live your life. go play the field... of dicks... just please, calm yourself. And straight guys; don't be afraid of a gay because you think he's "gonna be trying to touch my Johnson and stuff" sorry to rain on your parade, but not every gay guy wants to fuck, or get fucked by you. That's like a fat girl saying shes scared of getting raped in the middle of the day. just ain't gonna happen. Not everyone wants you. get over yourselves. Fat chicks; stop dressing like a whore and making suggestive comments. It makes us very uncomfortable and we feel like we have to flirt back and it disgusts us. Why can't you just get us blackout drunk and rape us. as long as we don't catch anything it's always good to have a "fat bitch raped me while I was blackout drunk" story to pull out every once in a while.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Needs VS Wants

So, I have a roommate. She claims to be "borderline" epileptic and that the phosphoric acid in Dr. Pepper helps with seizures. This, in my mind, is shenanigans. She simply likes Dr. Pepper. She claims this beverage as a need when in actuality it is a want. These people today "need" so much. Kinda makes you think on how we ever survived as a species before things like Dr. Pepper, PS3, and the 3 course meal. Oh, that's right. the weak died and the strong went on to reproduce. Unfortunately, those who were strong are also soft. They let their kids bomb around in their cars, give them anything they WANT and have turned things like "Mom and Dad" into the new ATM. Tell me parents, how do you expect your children to learn the value of a dollar if you hand twenty of them over every time they say so. Not even a please, and if there is it has to be goaded out. You think you've won because you got them to use manners for a split second. STOP. They're playing you. hard. They should be saying please EVERY TIME they ask for anything. Thank you or thank you anyway whenever they do or don't receive said things. You're turning them into *numerous insults I don't feel like typing.* They're getting older now, and accustomed to being handed everything. They say they NEED some McDonald's, NEED that Monster, NEED the new clothes, etc. NO. You need food, you want McDonald's, You can buy a loaf of bread for 2.50 and feed yourself for a couple days. You need hydration and energy, you want Monster, Go for a run, lose a pound, and drink some water. You'll feel much better than after you chug that concentrated Chuck Norris urine. You need clothing, you want to go buy shirts at 25$ each at Hollister. Well, if you can work your way past the solid wall of cologne in front of the store, you'll see that most of these shirts have one thing on them. "Hollister Co." which means you are now a walking advertisement for this company. Last time I checked, you didn't pay to advertise someone else's product. Hollister is the biggest scam I've ever seen. They don't have to pay for commercials cause the thirty 16 year old girls that are in that store at any given time are putting it all over their asses and breasts. (unfortunately, they tend to get looked at much more than a television anyway.) You NEED a shirt bro. get a 6 pack of white t's from Walmart for 5$ and call it a day.